Dating someone who’s in recovery from substance use disorder (SUD) can be a beautiful, rewarding experience, but it also comes with a degree of responsibility and accountability. If your partner is in their first year of recovery, it’s a particularly sensitive time. Experts may say that forming new romantic relationships during this period can increase emotional stress, and that might make staying on track harder. This may be especially true for people healing from alcohol use disorder (AUD).
Knowing this, it’s important for both of you to approach each step with patience, openness, and a lot of grace whenever possible. If your partner has moved past that first year, and you both feel ready, then embrace the love. Just know that support goes a long way—and St. Gregory Recovery Center in Iowa has some tools that might help things feel easier.
Tips for Dating a Partner in Recovery
You play a role in your partner’s life, but that role doesn’t require you to fix them or manage their recovery. That’s their job. But, just like with any other partner, SUD or no SUD, you should want to strive to be someone they feel safe around. In this respect, a little compassion and basic education about substance use can go a long way.
Here are a few tips to help you get started:
- Watch your words. One of the first aspects of recovery to understand is that words matter. Using respectful language and avoiding labeling your partner by their disorder can create trust in your relationship. Instead of words like addiction, addict, or substance abuse, opt for substance use disorder, a person or somebody struggling with substances, and substance use instead.
Educate yourself on SUD. Learn what substance use disorder really means. Reading trusted educational material, like what we at St. Gregory Recovery Center provide on our blog, is a good place to start. - Be respectful with your substance use. Many people use substances and never develop an issue, so don’t feel like you must be sober at all times just because your partner is. However, consider avoiding drinking or using other substances around them. It may not seem like a big deal to you, but even casual use can be a trigger for someone in recovery.
- Be open and receptive. Let your partner talk to you about what they’re feeling when it comes to struggles in recovery. If they’re dealing with cravings, a lapse, or a full relapse, your open support could make a real difference.
Know where you can go for support. Know your backup plan. If your partner needs more help, you can encourage them to reconnect with professionals. St. Gregory offers outpatient services, individual support, and family therapy to help couples and families stay on track. Addiction recovery care options for Iowans are in no short supply.
Sober Date Ideas
You don’t need drinks or party scenes to have fun. Dating without substances can deepen your bond in ways you might not expect.
Try one of these:
- Take a scenic road trip and skip intensive travel or flying that might cause stress or temptations at airport bars
- Go hiking or biking on a local trail
- Explore a museum, zoo, national park, or nature reserve
- Try out a cooking class or farmers’ market
- Sign up for a fun fitness challenge together, like paddleboarding or rock climbing
- Spend the evening stargazing or camping somewhere peaceful
- See if your partner is interested in a game night or an arcade date
The key is choosing activities that don’t revolve around substance use or bring up old routines your partner may associate with using.
Supportive Habits You Can Adopt
You can’t force anyone to stay in recovery, but you can create a life that helps both of you feel good. Many people in recovery can benefit from structure, balance, and healthy routines—and modeling that might inspire your partner, too.
Here are some ways to support each other through action:
- Eat nutrient and vitamin-rich meals that support energy, brain health, and stability
- Stay physically active with walks, weight lifting, swimming, or simply walking
- Keep your emotions in check by journaling, talking to someone you trust, or practicing mindfulness
- Make space for joy and rest. Build a life that’s not all work, all stress, or all your partner
- Balance time with friends, time alone, and time together
Explore Outpatient Treatment and Family Programs in Iowa
If you’d like extra support, St. Gregory Recovery Center offers outpatient services and family programs in Des Moines and Bayard, Iowa. These programs can help your relationship thrive with a stronger foundation as you move forward together. Contact us today to learn more!
